10 things about me

1. I always complained. 2. Easily annoyed and pissed off 3. Lazy ass 4. Boring 5. Lame 1. Patient 2. Caring 3. Kind hearted. ( Well, said so) 4. Love sweets thing 5. Quick to forgive

Monoloque

Sometimes, I have to bear with all things. From tiny little things to the biggest issues. Dealing with my heart is the hardest thing to do. Event though I have to pats myself over and over again, the scars won't be treated in a right way. Healing needs time. It is just healing. But the scar's still there. Give a mark, bloody mark forever. Sometimes I wonder, where are those memories with all my exs? Nothing compared to the scars they gave to me. It is hurt. That is why I chose not to tell, rethinking, rewind the past. I've been hurt-ed so many times. Live with the memories, yes I can. But to rewind the memories itself, no. What is in front of my eyes now, is my future to hold. Future to believe. Make this present, memorable. Yes it is sweet to rewind those good memories, because they are there with us. But, there's a heart to be take care of. Sometimes I wish I'm the one who is memorable for someone. Forgettable = Me How can I change this? I am a very boring person, alive. I'm lame, I can't make a joke, I can't do this I can't do that, I'm cranky, I'm quick to judge, I can't cook a meal for someone that I wanted to cook for, When can I be good at something and be a memorable person? When can I change? When? And how? :( Long sighs never ends.

ILOVEYOU!

2nd of March is the special date for me. Happy Birthday Mak, Madam Siti Afzam Bt Haji Mahmud. Sweet 57th! You gives your endless and eternally love to me, you mad at me, you scolded me, but never once you hit me, never once you hurt me, but I did hurt you in many ways. I am truly sorry, I asked for your forgiveness now and hereafter. You are there with me when no one would. You gives me those messages said that you missed me like so badly. Tears are running down as soon as I received your messages. At sometime I realized, why I had treated you like so bad when you are not? Why I have to yelled at you, when I know I can't do such things? I repent myself. On how I'm treating you all this while. I'm sorry Mak. I wouldn't do such things ever again. I promised to myself to taking care of you, loving you, feeding you, missin' you, like you did to me when I was a little back then and now. Someday, on one fine day you will be seeing me with a man I love, and you will be seeing me graduated, holding the scroll and also will be seeing me with my own children and family. I hope you will be there, to be the witness. I want you, no one else. I LOVE YOU ETERNALLY. NOW, TOMORROW, AND FOREVER. <3 <3 <3 - From your last daughter, Adik