Monoloque

Sometimes, I have to bear with all things. From tiny little things to the biggest issues. Dealing with my heart is the hardest thing to do. Event though I have to pats myself over and over again, the scars won't be treated in a right way. Healing needs time. It is just healing. But the scar's still there. Give a mark, bloody mark forever. Sometimes I wonder, where are those memories with all my exs? Nothing compared to the scars they gave to me. It is hurt. That is why I chose not to tell, rethinking, rewind the past. I've been hurt-ed so many times. Live with the memories, yes I can. But to rewind the memories itself, no. What is in front of my eyes now, is my future to hold. Future to believe. Make this present, memorable. Yes it is sweet to rewind those good memories, because they are there with us. But, there's a heart to be take care of. Sometimes I wish I'm the one who is memorable for someone. Forgettable = Me How can I change this? I am a very boring person, alive. I'm lame, I can't make a joke, I can't do this I can't do that, I'm cranky, I'm quick to judge, I can't cook a meal for someone that I wanted to cook for, When can I be good at something and be a memorable person? When can I change? When? And how? :( Long sighs never ends.